Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Road Ahead

Kim reads more blogs than I do. Yes, even after our journey to Jonathan, Kim has continued to read and learn from the adoption experiences of others. And, to be honest, the “adoption experience” doesn't really end when the child comes home. No more than being married ends after the honeymoon. No more than being a parent ends when an infant comes home from the hospital!

The “adoption experience” doesn't ever really end, but it does change. I think that it would be fair to say that Kim and I have both, in our own way, grieved a little bit over the past few months. We have grieved the loss of the anticipation and excitement and challenge that came with our initial journey to Jonathan.

That's probably normal. That's probably been written about in a lot of other blogs. I wouldn't know. Kim reads more blogs than I do.

In those days, weeks, and months of “let down” I have found it easy to think as if the adventurous part of our life is over. Certainly one very big adventure is over. We went to CHINA for cryin' out loud! But that doesn't mean that all anticipation and excitement and challenge ends here.

To that end, I have an announcement to make. This blog is going to end. In its place will be a brand new blog with a new address. It's only fair you know this is coming. It'll be a spot where we can yammer on and on about the whole family: Jonathan and Ben and Jordan and Tyler and Amanda. No child left behind here!

It'll also be a place for Kim and me to write about whatever new adventure God lays on our hearts. We took a big leap of faith in adopting Jonathan. Now we're kind of hooked. What leap of faith would God have us take next?



It hit me like a ton of bricks this morning: If I am not careful, I will make decisions backwards.

God wants me to make decisions based on faith ... expectation without tangible evidence.

Instead, I will naturally look for tangible evidence.

God wants me to make decisions based on hope ... an optimistic view of the future that trusts God and His willingness provide.

Instead, I will naturally gravitate towards cynicism.

God wants me to makes decisions based on love ... love that unconditionally expresses itself to others.

Instead, I will naturally look out for "me" and "mine."

If I operate out of a natural realm, I will make decisions backwards.
To be totally honest, that natural realm is what I have slipped into these past few months. In my mind the journey to Jonathan was over so, now it's on with my career, my duties, and ... business as usual. I found myself slipping into some pretty “backwards” thinking.

This is not the person I want to be. This isn't who Kim wants to be either. What bold move would God have us take for which there is no tangible evidence, which requires a God-centered optimism, and which demonstrates unconditional love?

We don't know yet. It might be big. It might be small. It might end up being so small that it'll be boring to write about. We'll get back to you on that.
In the meantime, say a prayer for us! We'll announce the new blog address here when it is ready and when we can agree on its name. :-)

Thanks for reading. Thanks for letting Kim and me share our hearts and our tears and triumphs. Thank you for every sacrifice large and small that helped bring Jonathan home. It was worth it all, and it still is.

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