Saturday, July 25, 2009 - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more

Please Pray

We were all really hoping and praying that we would see our LOA this week. On Wed., July 29th, we will have been waiting 100 days for our LOA. I don't want to become a member of the 100 days waiting club! We leave for the beach in about 13 days, I want to be able to relax and enjoy the beach ~ not worrying about our LOA coming. I know it is all in God's timing and we are learning to trust Him more and more each day. The frustrating part of all of this is that a family with a log in date 13 days earlier then ours, just got their travel approval and will be going to get their son on August 5th. I am truly happy for this family, but I want it to be us going! There is no rhyme or reason to how China adoptions function and that is probably the most frustrating part of all of this.

So, if you could please continue to pray that we would get our LOA this week ~ we would so appreciate it. I have been scraping wallpaper and painting which has been a huge distraction to me and kept my mind occupied. I am almost done the kitchen and when that is done~ I will need another project!

Monday, July 20, 2009

91 days and waiting (but whose counting)

I was asked today by a friend if I was nesting. Do adoptive parents nest? I'm not sure if they do or not, but I am either nesting or trying to not lose my sanity. The waiting is not so bad if I am involved in a project. Last week, I painted Jonathan's room and it looks great! Today, I took down the wallpaper in part of our downstairs hallway and prepped Amanda's room to be painted. Tomorrow, I will paint the hallway and hopefully get a coat of primer on Amanda's walls. If I am physically working, I can't be obsessing over the fact that our LOA has not arrived. It is a very frustrating time, as not much paperwork has been coming out of China the last few weeks. So, I guess the one good aspect of all this waiting is that some of the home improvement projects we have been putting off are finally getting done. If this wait continues much longer, I may take down the wallpaper in the kitchen and paint in there also!

On a different note, today Jeremy and I are celebrating 13 wonderful years of marriage. Yesterday, thanks to Mom-mom and Pop-pop, we were able to go out to a very nice lunch date. We had a good time. It is hard to believe that we have been married for 13 years! This time last year, Jeremy was finishing up his masters degree and we were in survival mode. Now, we are waiting for Jonathan to come home. The difference a year makes. One of the many things that I love about Jeremy is that he is open to God's call on his life and willing to take risks. He does not settle for the status quo. He doesn't like to "be comfortable" for too long. Those traits are what helps our marriage stay strong. We both have strived to follow God's call on our lives and we are both open to responding to that call even if it means traveling to China to bring home a little boy who needs a family. Not many men would say yes when their wives suggest it may be time to look into adopting a little boy. Jeremy embraced the idea and wasn't even shocked (we had talked about this possibility before we even married). We are both looking forward to celebrating many more anniversaries together and who knows what other journeys God may call us on.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Happy 3rd Birthday, Jonathan

Today Jonathan turns 3! Although, we wish we could be with him to help him celebrate, we are looking forward to having a big party next year! Yesterday, some totally awesome friends surprised me with a birthday cake for Jonathan. Their simple gesture made me cry, but was also the encouragement that I needed. The cake and singing made this journey feel real. Some days, it can feel like we have made this all up and it is just a dream. But yesterday, listening to over 20 people sing happy birthday to our boy made it feel real. It also made me feel loved. I have been so blessed with a great group of ladies to call my friends.
So, today we think of Jonathan and pray that he will be loved and kept safe till we can bring him home. I also think of his birthmom and wonder if she is thinking of the son she loved enough to give a better life. She gave birth to him 3 years ago today. I pray that she will somehow know in her heart that he is loved.
Happy Birthday, Jonathan! We love you!

Monday, July 6, 2009

2 posts in one day could only mean...

that we got good news. Not our LOA (which I know that is what you were thinking). This news is equally awesome. Phone rang, looked at called ID, Shaohannah's Hope, they would only call with good news, right?, heart pounding, picked up phone, talked with a very sweet lady. Drum roll, please.... we have been awarded a grant from them. Praise God! God is so good. Just when we need a little encouragement. This is indeed confirmation that God is in charge of and guiding our journey to bring our son home.

Last week we received the news that we would not be receiving a grant from an agency we had applied to. We are still waiting to hear from one more organization. We need approximately another $5,000 to pay for our travel expenses and orphanage fees. God has blessed us and we are excited to see how He is going to meet this last little bit. Please continue to pray that we will continue to rest in Him and His provision.

Just a little plug for Shaohannah's Hope- Steven Curtis Chapman and his family are in China right now. This past weekend was the grand opening of Maria's Big House of Hope. Marybeth, his wife, has been blogging and posting pictures about their trip. You can read more about it at

Learning on the journey

I never knew this part of the journey would affect me, change me in so many ways. When one is starting the adoption process you think- step 1 – pick an agency, step 2- complete homestudy, step 3- complete lots of paperwork, step 4- accept a referral, step 5- wait a little bit, and step 6- welcome a child into your family. It sounds so easy. Your social worker will tell you that it is a long process and that there will be some waiting involved, but you think you are immune to the waiting or that it won’t bother you.

You start the process and breeze through numerous steps with lightening speed and then you hit the brick wall. The wall that you didn’t think would affect you even if you did hit it. But here we are and I find myself banging my head against this wall. This wall is keeping me from my son. A son, I really don’t know. A son, I couldn’t identify if I needed to. A son, whose last picture I have is over a year old. A son, who I have never met. A son, who with each passing day, I am longing to hold and get to know. A son, that we are yearning to parent and love. A son, who has a bed waiting for him in our home. A son, who will no longer be an orphan, but will become a part of our family.

And so we wait. There are times, I feel like banging my head on the wall. There are times, I cry out to God, and beg Him to move this wall. There are times that I feel like this is all a dream. There are times, I feel like Jonathan is slipping away- further and further away. There are good days and bad days. There are days when I feel like today is going to be the day we get one step closer. There are nights I go to bed wondering if Jonathan will even be home in time for Christmas.

The key word is feel. I can feel so many things. The important thing for me to remember is that God is constant. God doesn’t change depending on my feelings. I don’t know why God is choosing to have us wait, but I know in my head that His timing is perfect. Now, I just need to get my head and heart on the same page. I need to choose to accept this wait and not become bitter. I need to know in my heart that God’s timing is perfect and that in His timing He will bring Jonathan home.

This journey is causing me to grow. It is causing me to cling to God for my comfort and support. It is drawing Jeremy and I closer together. It is giving my children a front row seat as they watch their parents handle the frustration of waiting. And yes, they are watching and waiting to see if we are putting into practice what we tell them about God. It is causing me to let go and give complete control to God. It is causing me to put one foot in front of the other and live today to its fullest. Yes, I will still wonder if today could be the day, but I will choose to not dwell on that. Instead, I will make peanut butter, pay bills, take the kids to the library, and be the best mom I can be to the children God has so graciously allowed me to parent right here, right now.