God surprises are the BEST!

Where do we go from here?


Today was our 6 month follow-up appointment at Shriner's Hospital. Both Jeremy and I went with the idea that nothing big was going to happen today. At our last appointment we got the impression that they were going to wait awhile before they fitted Jonathan with a prosthetic. I even told some friends yesterday that most likely nothing would happen today.

We were wrong- God surprised us!

They were amazed at Jonathan's ability, and who wouldn't be? Apparently, he is exceptional for his age, but we knew that. They felt he is more than ready to get a prosthetic. He will be getting a prosthetic leg complete with bending knee. He had his first fitting today. They measured him and wrapped a plaster like substance around his waist to create a mold of sorts. It was very interesting. We will get a call in about 2 weeks to go back for a second fitting and then about a month after that fitting we should have a leg! After he gets the prosthetic he will of course need physical therapy to learn how to use it. We will either have to return to Shriners for therapy or they are hoping to find a place closer to home for us, but apparently not all physical therapists are trained to work with children and esp. children with the type of prosthetic he is getting. Everyone is confident that he will adapt quite quickly to using the leg.

As a bonus, we were able to meet a 10 year old young man from Ohio, who was at Shriners for a week of therapy. He has the same type of prosthetic that Jonathan will be getting. Unless you looked closely it was difficult to tell that his leg with a prosthetic. It was interesting to listen to him talk about learning to use the prosthetic without crutches. It is our goal that with time Jonathan will be able to get around without his crutches, BUT this is a very physically and mentally demanding achievement. This young man told us that when he is out he uses the prosthetic, but when he comes home the prosthetic goes off and he uses his crutches. The one physical therapist confirmed for us that that is a normal pattern because of how physically demanding it is to use a leg prosthetic.

We showed this picture to the doctors and they were so impressed with his strength and ability that one of them is going to be using it in a presentation they are doing.


Almost forgot, we did go to Great Adventure on Monday. Everyone had fun and we didn't lose any kids or adults. Jonathan loved the rides but it was a LONG day for everyone.

Loved seeing the Flash and Robin, but can you tell it was a long day!

Favorite ride- the Airplane- rode at least 3 times in a row- benefit of Great Adventure not being crowded


Giraffe's got up close and personal!

Everyone is Special

I never thought June would be so crazy. It all started back with our Memorial Day Camping trip which was a very successful family vacation. The following weekend, Jeremy and Jordan went to Father/Son overnight at Camp Haycock. This was a great time for Jeremy and Jordan. It is easy for Jordan to get lost in the middle of this crazy gang. So, Jordan had a blast spending time “just with dad”.

This weekend it was Amanda's and my turn. Amanda and I headed out to a hotel in Lancaster, PA. We spent the weekend completing the “Passport to Purity” program. If your not familiar with the program, it is a great resource to share the “facts of life” with your child. But, in addition to that, it is also a great discussion starter for such topics as friends, peer pressure and putting your relationship with Christ first. Amanda and I had a great time talking together and completing the projects. I have been blessed to have a great relationship with Amanda and I pray that this weekend will only serve to open the door to many more discussions between us as she gets older. We finished off our weekend, by attending Psalms of David, which is a Sight and Sound Performance. We both really enjoyed this program. I bought her a t-shirt to remember our weekend by. Her response. “I don't need a t-shirt to remember the weekend. I just will. It was fun.”


Jeremy and I make an intentional effort to spend time alone with each of our children. For Tyler that means games of chess with dad. For Ben it means a one-on-one shopping trip. When you have 5 kids, this is NOT easy, but the rewards of that one-on-one time outweigh what some would consider an inconvenience. This month, one-on-one time took the form of an overnight away. This was the exception. Typically, I have tried to make it a priority to take Amanda out for a meal or even just a snack once a month. This gives us time to talk and it gives me time to show my appreciation to her. Amanda being the oldest and the only girl can often get stuck with extra chores or helping with her brothers. It means a lot to her when we go out and I say “thank you” to her for all she does to help out. It also gives her the opportunity to share what is going on in her life. Jeremy and Amanda will usually walk the dog together in the evening. This gives them time alone to talk.

We have also attempted to do similar outings with the boys. The boys are now eagerly awaiting their weekend away with dad. They now know when they are about to enter sixth grade they will get to go away just them and dad. We think it is great that they are looking forward to spending time with their dad.

Tomorrow the kids and I are headed out for a fun filled day at Six Flags Great Adventure. Thanks to free tickets through their reading program! We are going with 4 other families. Due to all the time off for China, Jeremy is stuck going to work. (insert sad face here) Not sure who will have the easier day, but I am sure my day will be exciting. I can't wait to take Jonathan through the safari and Ben has been talking about riding the Wiggles Cars with Jonathan.

On Wednesday, Jonathan will get his one-on-one time with Mom and Dad. We will be taking him back to Shriner's Hospital for another evaluation. Not sure what will come of this appointment, but we will keep you posted.

Camping Fun Continues

Jeremy and Jordan went to Father/Son Camp at Camp Haycock. They had a lot of fun. It was really good for Jordan to get away just with Dad. Jordan loved having all of dad's attention to himself.




Jeremy and Jordan had so much fun, they wanted to take all of us back for Haycock's Open House on Sunday. So, we spent Sunday afternoon riding horses, shooting bb guns, taking a hayride and swimming. Jonathan loved riding a horse. It is so much fun to watch him experience all of these firsts.


My twins!

On Saturday, Tyler, Ben, Amanda, Jonathan and I took the train downtown with Mom-mom to go see a play at the Walnut Street Theatre. Jonathan loved the train ride and actually sat through the play only asking 100 times when we were going on the train again. Some day we will do a post about how Jonathan brings out the best in people.

Thriving

Some day we will launch our new blog, but for now one more post. I have come to the realization that life is busy. I am not getting as much done as I used to. With warmer weather comes a whole new schedule. We are outside more, garden work has begun, pool days have begun, Jonathan and Ben never stop moving. Yes, I don't really know why I feel like I am behind.


This weekend, we celebrated a milestone in our family. We took our first family vacation as a family of 7 and we didn't just survive we thrived. We went camping - OK it was in a cabin, but we were told there were bears in the woods. We had indoor plumbing and a shower, but we also did a campfire. It is my idea of roughing it! We went with 3 other families and had a wonderful time. Jonathan loved our cabin. He did ask to go home a few times, but was easily distracted. He loved having "his friends" show up at our door at 7:00 AM in the morning. He loved playing with his friends all day and sitting by the campfire with them. He experienced his first smore, canoe ride (which he LOVED), first game of capture the flag, and first time at the beach (really a lake with sand). At least they were all firsts as Jonathan Futing Shafer.

Jonathan has developed a fan club of sorts. As I said earlier, we went with 3 other families for a total of 16 kids among us. All of the other kids love to dote on Jonathan, who of course eats it right up. It is really sweet to watch the kids interact with Jonathan, talk with him, include him and look out for him. He is one blessed boy to have so many friends. It was a wonderful weekend. When we got home, Jonathan kept asking to go back to his cabin and he wanted to know where his friends were. Yes, we may not be getting a lot done around here, but we are having fun!

Ben's Day

Today, Ben turned 5! We surprised him by serving him breakfast in bed this morning.

He felt extremely special!

Now everyone wants breakfast in bed on their birthday!

We love you, Ben!

Still Adjusting

A conversation between Ben and Amanda.

“Ben, why are you using Jonathan's crutches?”
“I want to be just as cute as Tinga.”
“But Ben you are cute!”
“I am practicing because I want crutches for my birthday.”
“Ben, why do you want crutches for your birthday?”
“So that I can be cuter then Tinga!”

Yes, Jonathan is cute. We know this to be true, but apparently some of us are beginning to feel the effects of his cuteness.

We have been home for 6 months now. The last 6 months have been full of adjustments, growth, and more adjusting. In our house all the boys and Amanda are on an equal playing field. The problems arise when we go out. For example, the other day I took all the kids to BJ's. We had received in the mail a card for a free trial period. I decided to go check out their prices. Jonathan was of course exerting his need for independence and literally flying down the aisles on his crutches. People would smile at him. One employee took it a little too far (in my book). She called him over and told him how cute he was and then bent down and kissed his head. Thankfully, we were on our way out the door. I was kinda taken back didn't quite know what to say. We just kept going on our way out the door. In the past when someone has said how cute Jonathan is in front of the other boys I have responded that “yes, all my boys are cute”.

So the question arises “what makes Jonathan cute?” OK- I know he is just plain cute, BUT if he wasn't flying down the aisle with one leg using his crutches like a pro, would he even get a second glance. If he had 2 legs and was running down the aisle knocking into carts would people still think him cute? The balance for us as parents is NOT to separate him because of his disability. Yes, he has a disability that makes him unique, but all of my children are unique and special. You as an outsider may not see how special Ben is by looking at his outward appearance, but I as his mom can list a 100 reasons why he is special.

1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

We will always have to make adjustments in our family. We will continue to build Ben and all the children up. We will remind them daily that we love them ALL. Yet, I am reminded of what is most important: the heart. Only having one leg is NOT going to get Jonathan into heaven. Being cute is NOT going to get anyone into heaven. As parents we need to focus on the heart. We need to continually draw our children back to God and to His Word. Yes, our family may look a little different than the average American family, but in God's eyes we are no different than those around us. We are all sinners in need of a Savior. We talk with all of our children about our need for God on a daily basis.


I will close with(yes, a cute Jonathan story), but one that reminds us he has a past we were not part of.
We have used the same Baby Bible book with all of our children at bedtime as part of their story time. The other night Jonathan and I were reading the Bible Book and we came to the page where Jesus is ascending up into Heaven. I very smoothly told Jonathan that someday if he trusted Jesus as his Lord and Savior he would get to go live with Jesus in heaven. A look of pure terror came over his face. “ I NO go to Heaven. I stay here.” Realizing what I just said I quickly reassured him that YES, he was staying right here with us.


Today, Ben needs assurance that we love him 2 legs and all. The other day Jonathan needed assurance that yes he was staying with us forever. Tomorrow or maybe even in the next hour someone else will need assurance that we are there for them. It's all part of being mom and dad.

Happy Mother's Day, China Momma

#54 M. DOB 7/15/2006 (estimated) found on 10/25/2006 at 1st floor Outpatient Hall of Dalian Children's Hospital. Missing right leg. These words are taken from Jonathan's finding ad which was in the local paper in Liaoning. This ad must be run before any child can be placed for adoption.




She cared. She loved her son. We don't know why she felt like she couldn't take care of him. I can just imagine the joy at his birth. A boy. Then comes the realization that he is missing a leg. She took care of him for 3 months. We will never know what happened on October 25th that caused her to take him to a hospital and to return home with empty arms. She left him in a hospital. Knowing he would be found. Knowing he would be safe. Did she hide and wait till someone discovered him? I can only assume she is alive and living somewhere in China. A mother does not forget her son. I am sure not a day goes by where she does not wonder about her little boy. Where is he? Is he safe? Is he in China? Is he in America? I wish that I could let her know he is ok. He is better then ok, he is thriving. He is loved. He is part of a family that will love him and take care of him forever. She took care of him and loved him for 3 months. The first three months of his life.

This Mother's Day I am choosing to honor the mother of Li Futing. Wherever you are in the world, know that I love him. He is my son. You will always be his China Momma. We look at pictures of China, we talk about you. I tell him that he has a China Momma, who loved him so much, that she choose to give him life. We will probably never have the opportunity to meet but this Mother's Day it is my prayer that she will know in her heart that Jonathan is safe and most importantly he is loved. Thank you for choosing life, so that I can have the privilege of raising Jonathan Futing and calling him my son.